Monday, August 18, 2008

Retro 50s rewind!

I was racing around the internet yesterday and came across a really cool site that sells restored 50s ads to be used as framed art. Cool! But in examination of some of these pictures the artists who painted them in the 50s have less of a grasp on reality than I do. Let me point out my disturbing observations:

This is refrigerator ad from 1954. Look at the back ground; apparently we landed a fridge on the moon 16 years before Neil Armstrong took his first steps there. Why? Was it to test how the fresh spilled food would be when Neil wanted a snack? What powered this fridge/rocket? I want some for my car.

Okay- so I messed with this one. It originally read “Cookies” and I changed it to sex. C’mon guys, wouldn’t we wash dishes for sex anyways?

Look at the record jacket. Exactly the same image as what the ad is. Freaky!

A revolving house! I want one NOW!

What’s with the boy in the yellow shirt? Practicing not football, but a dance move for his Broadway debut? I’ll bet that kid gets beat up a LOT!

A spilled lunch. A tomato sandwich- the lunch of all healthy girls from the 1950s, and not one but TWO apples and a banana AND a piece of cake! And what’s with the trucker? He seems to be admiring that boy’s butt while his partner takes a snooze.

If I had cancer, and I saw that …. Thing… aimed at me, I’d die right there on the table. A 50s idea of what cancer treatment in the future might entail.

Lots of drinking and baking went on in the 50s.

Read the caption……. ‘nuff said!

The woman in this painting looks like Scarlett Johannson.

No? Wonder if she cooks like the woman too.

The housewife is polishing kitchen utensils and her husband (I assume) is polishing the ’57 Plymouth. Scary people.

The caption of this might read: “Holy cow am I wasted. I’ll just hold on to this garden post until the effects of the LSD wear off. These red swirls are making me dizzy.”

This was published in 1956 telling us what the house of the future might look like. Okay then, where is my flying car? Some things DID come true: The projection TV, the internet on that TV like box on the counter, and control panels for the house (on the far right). I want to know why this guy lives with so many women. Did they predict an upturn in polygamy?

This one reminded me of my grandparent’s house trailer at the beach. They had great neighbors that always would bring food over. Nothing really funny here, not unless you would consider that wisecracking 5 year old (me) that didn’t make it into this painting.

This picture was so wrong, that I had to number some parts:

1) What’s a blind guy (doesn’t that look like a seeing eye dog) doing on a boat? Maybe that is his hot daughter everyone is chatting up lying on the lounge chair in front of him? The only way to get Stella on the boat is to invite her dad along. And don’t forget Sparky, his dog. Dad doesn’t leave home without him.

2) Odd place to put a boat motor, don’t you think? Especially on a lifeboat. If that party boat is sinking, I don’t care if I’m in an engine powered boat or hand powered boat, I’m getting the hell off of the sinker as fast as possible.

3) What’s the kid fishing for? Doesn’t he know that you can’t catch fish if you dangle your line in the boat’s wake? I haven’t been fishing that often, but that part I DO know!

4) Sure just what the boat’s pilot needs, another drink!

5) Because….. he is aiming directly at the littler boat. He might be giving a drunken wave, but I’ll bet that other boat captain is holding up his middle finger!

Is this a 50s picnic lunch or a dish to bring to a bachelorette party?

This pic is from a calendar from 1954. I find it the most disturbing of all. What’s a weird looking guy wearing pajamas riding on a toboggan doing coming out of another guy’s crotch? By the stars around the guy, it looked like it was a mighty painful exit too.

And of course, the last picture is one of me trapped in a TV in a 1950s living room. Please let me out.

--So go and buy some prints at Plan59. Please!

PS. I want a diner booth.


Princess Loretta said...

What a fun blog! Thanks for posting!

Anonymous said...

Hi Frank, just stopping by to say hello! Not had chance to log-on for ages! Glad all is OK with you :-)

Anonymous said...

Very fun. Missing you.